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I need yor advice! My daughter's wedding is going to be in fall.The maximum person for the wedding is 125. Her fiance has a big family, there are more than 90.There are some friends too ...I just put only 10 people that I wanted to invite on the list and I still have to take some more off. The thing she is saying is that the tradition between amarican people is that the bride parents has to pay for the wedding, We don't have that kind of money and we don't know what to do.
Both of them have very good jobs, and his family is wealty too.What should I do!
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As parents of the future groom we are aware that the rehearsal dinner is our responsibility to plan. However, since we are helping to pay for half of the wedding costs, shouldn't the rehearsal dinner be split as well?
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My daughter will be getting married next year. Her Mom and I are divorced. Who's responsibility is it to pay for the wedding? I plan on doing the best I can, but I am anticipating that her Mom will take the position that I should be responsible for all of the brides parents financial responsibilities. I appreciate your help very much.
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I was wondering how much of a budget would i need to have a wedding at Como Zoo outside in the excedra part.The only thing is i will like a Chocolate Fountain and pasta bar buffett which i am not sure how much it would cost for 50-60 people my wedding is not until May2010 where do is start for budget my financial situation HELP!!!!
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My fiance asked me after 8 years to marry him. He's divorced after 8 years of marriage. We want to have a tiny wedding (his 3 kids, & my 84 year old mother), I would like to invite my nephew who is like a son to me in my heart- is that ok? Recently laid off, we don't want a big expense. Thinking tiny ceremony, and a dinner out. My brother
is very manipulative - he will probably resent not being invited. My other brother doesn't give me the time of day. What do I do?? My fiance is 58 and I am 50. I promised him stress free and very inexpensive. HELP!
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I work with a gentlemen who has not seen his daughter in about 15 years she lives in germany and just had a baby which is his 1st grandson she is getting married in may and he and his wife want to go but financially do not have enough money for airfare i thought it would be a good idea to send out letters to his family and friends explaining this and seeing if they would like to help him attend the wedding by giving cash as a wedding gift so he would be able to see his grandson for the 1st time and reunite with his daughter. I am just not sure how to go about and do this and also how to write the letter explaining this. what are your opinions on this?? I would greatly appreciate any help on this matter he and his wife have always been very giving individuals to everone else i would like to help and give back to them!!
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we have 4 daughters 3 of whom could be married at anytime. My oldest daughter is now engaged to her boyfriend of just over 1 year and whom live together. While I don't agree with their living situation I am glad that at least there is now some kind of commitment. My question is we feel she is trying to get a commitment out of us for money and the wedding and we cannot do it. I realize that brides parents paying for the wedding is a tradition, however it is not one my husband and I of 23 years expected or ever eluded to so, we were not prepaired for such expectations. I cannot even bring myself to discuss the wedding yet because, she is in a state of denial regarding size,cost and who pays for what. She has now brought on board a relitive, my fathers wife, who not only did not offer a dime when my husband and I got married, child support, or education but has been a consistant interferance in our family over what we should do. My children and I got a front row seat at my step sisters wedding, at the top of one of the most expensive hotels in SF(the Fairmont) so I feel this may be what has inspired my daughter to feel we owe her the same. We are happy for our daughter if she is getting married because she loves this man and wants to be with him forever but, it is feeling like she wants a party with 200 or so guest and 6 brides maids, 3 maids of honor. (that is a wedding party of 20 or more) She is currently in school, has saved no money for such an event. hoping we are able to cover the expense of a new roof,(tired of the water coming inside), all the while the crazy step grandmother is egging her on, she told me she likes talking to her because she doesn't show her reallity. The women offered to purchase her a $1500.00 dollar wedding dress and throw he a bridal shower because she thought what her brides maids would put together would be tacky, this before she has even met the girls. I feel like I cannot win in this situation and I am on the verge of $0 help because I refuse to compete with a women who is in it for self glorification. I do not want to put a wall between my daughter and ourselves but this womens "help" is clearly to us self serving at best and minipulation of the family my husband and I worked so hard to create. When we went over to discuss it with my father and her, it became that I was horrible for not wanting my daughter to have something wonderful and how everytime she does something great I try and steal her thunder. From my perspective it is about manipulation pure and simple. We cannot go into debt over a wedding and feel good about it. I feel my daughter is missing the entire point of marriage, it's not a party its a life time and the bills will come due and knowing the "true" cost finacially and to ones sole before accepting a "gift" is important. Are we in the wrong here?
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Help, I am a very busy person and just got engaged. Now what? All my friends are telling me what I should do and have. This is all so new and my one friend said you guys helped her with her questions. I guess I am saying HELP, what do I do next.
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My fiance and I are getting married in April because he is in the military and being deployed. Our budget is only $6000.00. Do you have any suggestions on how to have an elegant reception while staying in budget?
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How do you politely ask your guests to a "pay for it yourself" wedding reception?
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I am hearing conflicting information on "who pays for what" for a wedding and reception. I know traditionally what each family would pay for, but should the bride and groom pay for their own wedding and reception and not expect the parents to help financially? And if the parents do contribute financially, should the bride and groom consider that a gift from their parents? Is this the new way of doing things? Thanks
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This one is hard to even write because when I heard it from a family member it was hard to believe; however, the bride's parents gave a rehearsal dinner for the entire out-of-town guests (60), gave it at their lovely home and did not include the groom's parents at all on the invite. The groom's parents still offered to pay toward the dinner and were finally given an amount of 1k which they promptly sent to the bride's parents...lo and behold a few weeks after the wedding, the bride's parents then changed their minds and asked for 5k (saying they felt the groom's parents should help pay for the wedding as well). The groom's parents were stunned and to avoid the groom and bride fighting over it, initally agreed to send more, then felt they were being scammed by the bride's parents, and chose just to not send anything more. There are some hurt feelings all around but none so much as the groom's parents, who had no say in the dinner, were not included on the invite, paid the amount immed that was agreed on and then ending in this manner. Any thoughts on how to handle this one?
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My son (2nd marriage for him) and his fiancee (1st marriage for her) eloped. Now, her parents want a reception (200+). Who should pay for the reception? Should we offer to help with the costs?
Need to know soon!
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My fiance and i (the groom) have been engaged for two months.
We have planned to wed next year.
So far i have been saving up to make a reasonable contribution to the wedding (total estimated cost £8000, savings £4000 by the wedding date).
I have approached the subject with my future father in law politely and delicately on two occasions. the first being when we looking at decided upon the venue, in the gents bathroom whilst both of us were washing our hands, in private...i told him i had been saving money to contribute the wedding, he suggested we had a chat when we have final figures.
I have sent him these figures 6 weeks ago and he has not got in touch at all regarding the matter.
During last week i called him to say that his daughter wanted to send out the invitations sooner rather than later, and as per your suggestions on here, asked if he and his wife would like to be the return address and seen to be hosting the event. he simply said no, that we were better doing that ourselves. I was hoping that this would give perfect opportunity to for the conversation to develop, but it never did, he simply suggested it was too early to send out the invites.
as a background i have been living with his daughter for ten months and we have been seeing one another for nine years and i did go to his house and ask for his daughters hand in marriage.
Please can you suggest how i broach the subject of what, if anything, he is willing to contribute towards the wedding.
I am pulling my hair out with worry over the matter. I really dont want to be rude but i just dont know how to raise the conversation. I thought it would of been much more polite for him to call me and invite me out for a drink to say what his intentions were rather than this silence on the matter, leaving me frought with worry about the possibility of finding another £4,000.
many, many thank in advance for any help.
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My son is getting married next may.
What I want to know, is.
What is the part of the MOG?
What do I do?
I have allready been buying things for the wedding. I am so hapy about the
wedding, I am affried I will over step
my place.
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We are wanting to get married along the North Shore shoreline up in Grand Marais, MN. We just want a very small wedding with close family members. Any suggestions on where and how to start planning this?
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Who is responsible for paying for the honeymoon and the rehearsal dinner? The bride or groom or both?
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My daughter and her boyfriend have lived together for 6 years and have just bought a house together, they say that next year they want to start planning thier wedding, my question is I understand she wants a wedding in her church, but are her father and I responsible for paying the whole bill like it use to always be in the olden days. I think they should be responsible for some of this wedding.
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I can afford 150 guests at my daughter's wedding. The in-laws want to pay for additional guests, but to me that's 'not done'. How do I tell them No?
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I have viewed a couple of your answers regarding the Groom's Parent's Responsibilities, and they are all different. I noticed they were 2 different years the question was asked so I needed an updated version of what the Groom's Parent's Financial Responsibilities are. Thanks so much!
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i am trying to plan a wedding for winter of 08. I live in ks and I can't seem to find a wedding hall that not only provides the reception but will also have a room to get married in. I do not want a traditional get married in a church wedding. I do not have a very big party we are looking at less then 100 to come. I am trying to stay within reason of a budget can you help me out I have been searching everywhere. The church I wanted and am a memeber at is costing way too much just for us to get married in. Can you help me out?
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I am wondering what the average bride's top 10 priority list is in determining the budget - I've been researching for weeks and can't find it anywhere!
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Iam the mother of the bride! My daughter got married 2years ago and my husband and myself payed for this wedding. In fact we are still paying for this wedding. Our daughter got a divorce after 1 year, no fault of her own. She is now getting married again to a great guy whos family has means. The family is planning a large wedding . I am retired with limited income on the 2nd wedding who is suppose to pay for what? Is there an ettiquite for this ?
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What does the groom's family pay for?
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My fiance's (bride) parents are deceased. She has a brother and a sister who both make pretty good money. So far neither one of them have stepped up to offer anything. Do you think that they should step up and help pay for the wedding costs?
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My daughter was to be married in 4 months. Her fiance just called off the wedding. My husband and I have put out over $5000.00 already. What if any financial responsibilty does the "would have been" groom or his parents have to my husband and I?
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Our son is getting married this year to a wonderful girl. The two have only recently graduated university so we don't expect them to make a big financial contribution to the wedding costs. The bride's mom is a single parent and covering all the wedding costs would be a lot for her. so my husband and I offered to pay for half of the costs for the dinner and reception. We thought we were being generous. We have a much larger extended family than the bride and our son has invited friends that are just his friends and not friends of him and the bride together. Because of this the bride's mother thinks we should pay for more than half of the costs. She thinks we should pay a percentage based on the number of guests that are our family and our sons friends. What do you think?
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My Fiance and I have been fighting for a while about the wedding and who is going to pay. Her parents gave us a gift of 10,000 and my mom does not make any money really so she cant give anything, the reason she cant give anything is because of certain family problems, and my fiance is pissed and hurt that she will give money to my family but not for our wedding.
She wants a big wedding of 175 people which i only have 57 people on my side of the family going and she says why should she be punished be cause my family cant give money.
Any help would be welcomed alot!
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My daughter has been living with this guy for 4 to 5 years... now they plan on getting married.. do we still have to pay for the wedding. she is telling me that she expects us to come up with approx. $30,000 for the wedding.
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My daughter is getting married in 18 months. Her father and I went through a bitter divorce about ten years ago and have no contact. I have remarried. During the divorce, my ex played many financial games and left me heavily in debt after cheating me out of thousands of dollars. What is the protocol regarding the bride's divorced parents handling the financial responsibilities of our daughter's wedding? My ex wants me to pay half. He has always made much more money than me.
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What do the grooms parents pay for? My mom has planned on paying for everthing except the rehersal dinner. But my fiances parents insist there are other things they are supposed to pay for. What are those things?
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DAughter, 26, got engaged recently. They together make very good money but expect us to pay as she is the bride & tradition & all. As they know we have had a pile of medical bills this year & other unexpected expenses. His parents are very comfortable & we are on a very tight budget. We feel bad but are not able to help. She is putting us as the reason they have to hold off on having the wedding even though they ahve known what a terrible year we have had. Someone told us that 25 is the cut off year to pay as the brides aprents. Would love to give them their dream but not possible as they know. Feel sad over it all so what is the proper etiquette pelase? Thank You!!!
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Our son has announced his intent to marry and we are struggling with the concern and the approach for discussing the appropriate contribution for reception costs and or any other typical expenses the grooms partens absorb, Please advise.
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ok i need a little advice.. my fiance and i are in a really hard financial standpoint. we have been together for 3 years and it doesnt look like things will be getting any better anytime soon. we would like to do a simple wedding and a very very inexpensive one we want in invite about 50-60 people mainly family and a few friends.. do you have any advice how to make the wedding not put us into debt for the rest of our lives yet still be a day to remember?
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i heard about a wedding that was paid for by complete sponsorship is it possible for that to happen again? If so how do I go about those steps because money is a total issue for a couple that wants to get married but really doesn't have any money. Please help me!!!!
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Hi! I am sending you my response from the questions you wrote me. I sent one a few days ago but guessing for some reason it didn't go through. we have set a budget for our reception it is 11,000. My fiance and I would like to have a formal wedding reception. We would also like to have a buffet and wouldn't mind having hors d' oeuvres. We are also planning on having an open bar.
we are planning on having 250-300 people at our reception. The thing we are concerned about is the place we are interested in, in Dellwood, MN; said if we have 250-300 people that it would be more exspensive to do a buffet rather than a sit down at the location. We would like our guest to have a variety to choose from in food. I was just wondering is that how it is at all locations because the amount of people we plan on having? We have not found a location for our ceremony. We would like to find a reception location where we can have our ceremony at the same location inside or outside. The reason we would like to have our wedding ceremony and reception in or around White Bear Lake is it is in the middle of the location of each side of our family. I would like our wedding to be a memorable moment for everyone to have fun but would also want a look that is elegant but not too elegant. I don't know it is kind of hard to explain. Thank you so much for you help and time!! Hope to hear from you soon!
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Our daughter has lived away from home for nearly 2 years, the entire time living with her boyfriend. At some unkown future point, they plan to get married. While I realize as her parents, we can ultimately say what we'll pay for and what we won't, are there guidelines for what we should consider ourselves responsible for as time away from home gets longer?
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I am getting married next year and my parents are paying for it. I was wondering what the groom's side of the family normally pays for, if anything? Also, if they are paying for anything, how do I go about talking to them about it?
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Hi I'am married and my hubby and i are renewing our wedding vow's. We would like to know if its wrong to ask of our bestman and mt/made of honor to help pay for some stuff for the wedding. Do to we are renewing our vow's. We also would like to know would we have to pay it back. If thats the case we rather pay for it our self. Because we have so much on our plate to worrie about keeping track of that also. meaning what we would have to payback to them. Please help thank you. (P.S i hope im not being a cry baby about this. We didnt have a big wedding the first time and now we are going all out)
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What side of the family traditionally pays for the reception
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My wifes son is getting married again. He is 36 and there is some sort of expectation that we are on the hook for this elaborate rehersal dinner. His first marriage we spent over $3,000.00 on the dinner and the marriage only lasted 7 months. We have lived out of state for 14 years and he has only been here once to see us and that was to pick up a car that we gave him.
What is the proper protocol here and what guidelines might we follow?
Thanks
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what is customary fee paid to minister
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My soon to be mother-in-law feels she is relieved of her duties since her son is 35 years old. She does not want to pay for anything, not even the rehearsal dinner! The funny thing is, she is adamant on us having a wedding with family and has said if Don (the groom) even thinks of running off to get married she would be furious! Don and I can't afford a wedding, my parents can only pay about half. Is my mother-in-law right? Is there an age cut off? How do I explain to her that without her help we can't afford a wedding, we will have to elope.
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Is it possible to have get sponsers for my wedding (ex. shoes, dress, cake, invitations,etc.)?
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Help! I recently got engaged (one month ago) and we have a problem with my fiance's parents. My parents divorced over 13 years ago and my father is in no way involved in my life. My mother has graciously offered to give the reception and has bought my dress. My fiance and I are just starting out and we know we will be saving for the wedding.
The problem is this. In the last month my fiance's parents made no mention of paying for anything except the traditional rehearsal dinner. Then on day out of the blue my future mother in law sent me an email (her preferred method of communication) saying that when my mother visited for the weekend her and her husband would "like to talk about sharing the wedding expenses." When we all met for dinner (a rare occurence because my mother lives 500 miles away) there was no mention of talking about the budget all night. What do we do now? It is an awkward situation because I feel that as a household that makes significantly more than my mother, the offer should have at least been extended properly, since it was made via e-mail on the mother in law's behalf.
I know that as parents, any contribution is considered a gift. However, I don't think it is right to dangle the "offer" of financial help and then take it away, especially when they know that my mother isn't well-off. Am I in the right to want my fiance to enquire as to their intentions? Should we just drop it and move on?
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I was not born in the US. The Filipino tradition states that the groom or the groom's parents pay for the wedding. I was told by my fiancee that the bride or the bride's parents pay for the weddings here in America.
What is the tradition here in the US, how did it started and why? What is the rational of this tradition?
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We are planning a wedding for Fall of 2006. We have a fairly limited budget. Traditionally, we have read that the bride's parents have more responsibility as far as paying. Unfortunately, we may not get much help from the brides parents. We were wondering what the ettiquite was or how to go about asking the groom's parents for money, without just saying "can we have money", if they are somewhat old fashioned with weddings.
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If the bride's parent are giving a budget of $5,000 to put toward wedding expenses (which includes bride's dress) what amount should the groom's parents be expected to give or offer? (if it makes a difference both parents have about the same amount of income)
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We are getting married on August 27th and have run into a problem with our budget. We cut a few things such as renting my dress for less and found a very reasonable photographer and musician. However, we can't get our rings because we still have bills to pay. I have asked a couple of friends about the reception being dutch for our guests and only one has a problem with it. Is that tacky and how would I let my guest know. The reception is at a very elegant restaurant and there is a minimum of $500 spending for the room that we've reserved and I just can't afford it. My sister suggested that we change restaurants but I don't like any of the ones she's suggested. So do you think it's tacky if my guest pay for their own meal?
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Is it customary for the parent's of the bride-to-be to buy an engagement gift and what price range is acceptable? The engaged couple and the parents live in seperate provinces and were contemplating sending money. What is your suggestion? At what point should the parents offer to give financial assistance towards the wedding?
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As a groom, my parents know what tradition says they are supposed to pay for in our wedding. But my fiance' and her parents are upset that they have to come up with the brunt of the funds. They think my parents are just being cheap. My parents would like to pay for more but just can't. I've tried explaining but I don't think they believe me. And with a wedding of this size, we're talking about a lot of money.
Is there any way I can get them to understand? I don't want them to think bad of my parents.
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What exactly do the grooms parents pay for? Also, if the groom cannot pay for something is it the responsibility of his parents to pay then?
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I have very little family living in my immediate area; my brother and his two children. My brother's wife left just before the youngest was a year old and hasn't been seen or heard from since. My mother and I helped raise the two kids, but she passed away 7 years ago. So I always expected that when my niece got married it would be me and my husband who would probably pay and plan for the bulk of her wedding when she got married.
She called last week and said she was getting married and it would probably be within two months, before her fiance went off to boot camp. Then no one heard from them for two days. The next time we talked her fiance seemed to have taken control of the wedding and evidently his mother was going to do everything. The extent of our involvement was going to be getting an invitation in the mail and showing up at the wedding.
My family has been dreaming of this day since she was born. She is an only daughter, niece, sister and granddaughter. This will be the first wedding we can celebrate in our family in twenty years, since my brother got married.
My niece and her future husband have absolutely no money, period. My brother is in the process of buying his first home, so he's saving every penny for his down payment and his son is still in high school. My husband and I can divert $2000 of our savings for the wedding and in the next two months all our overtime (which is plenty) will go toward the wedding. And I plan to hit up my father for matching funds. It's a very, very tiny amount, I realise, but my niece doesn't want a big or elaborate wedding. In addition, my husband has contacts all over town who will give us either deep, deep discounts or offer their services for just their costs. The professional photographer is only costing the price of the film and a hotel room for the night. The reception hall, a very nice one, will only be $250 and includes a bartender. A professional florist is making the flower arrangements for free, we just buy the flowers and invite her to the wedding. His contacts also include the dj, a limosine, and a caterer. My niece plans on wearing her mother's wedding dress, so the only expense there is in the alterations. All plans so far are loose and subject to the couples approval, of course.
Our problem is with the future husband and his family. They don't think we can take care of the expenses and planning, financially or otherwise. His mother has already planned and paid for her three daughters weddings, plus three of her own. This is the only time we will ever be able to plan and pay for a wedding.
We suggested the grooms family pay for the rings, the corsages and the bride's bouquet and the bar bill, but the future husband says he still feels left out.
Are we silly to want to do this for our niece, and is there a nice way to explain our situation without a huge fight breaking out? Or should we let them have their way and give their son the wedding they want him to have, which would be a big, expensive one?
Thanks
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My son and his fiance are planning a very formal wedding next year. After having a wonderful evening meeting her mother and likeing her very much we were given a breakdown of what our expenses would be for the wedding. We don't want to embarrass our son or his fiance, but the amount was about three thousand dollars more than we could possibly ever save. I didn't respond at this point other than to ask how soon we had to have this amount. I didn't think the first time we met would be the time to muddy the water. The mother made the suggestion that we start budgeting for the wedding now and that they were putting away two thousand a month. Even with me working our amount is half of my annual salary. What do we say. We can't afford a loan and don't use credit cards. Our life isn't fancy but it's ours. We have the responsibility of raising a nine year old granddaughter, a mentally impaired 21 year old daughter and attending to my aged parents whose health has been poor. We want this to be a wonderful time for my son and his fiance, but in no way can we "keep up with the Jones". From a fiancial view, two thousand dollars a month is a drop in the bucket for them. That's over have of my husbands monthly salary! They seem to be very nice people, but I don't think they have a clue as to how we struggle just to make ends meet. The major cost is the reception. We were told that we are responsible for the alcohol. We or none of our family memebers drink. We're not sure how to handle this. Help!!!
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A friend of mine has a son getting married next June. The bride is asking the parents of the groom if they are paying for part of her dress along with half of a number other things that is traditionally expected of the brides parents. Is this right for the bride to be asking my friend to do?
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Is it tacky to give a party and ask for money, ie...an informal cookout.
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What is proper as gratuity for pianist, vocalist and clergy for the ceremony?
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parents expense to a daughters 2nd wedding
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My son is getting married in June. Can
you tell me what all the groom or grooms
parents are responsible for. From what
I can tell from books it is rehearsal dinner, bride's flowers, honeymoon.
I need some advice!!
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My sister-in law is getting married and is having a semi-medium wedding, about 100 or less guests. My mother who is widowed was not invited. I'm offended since my husband and i have been married for 10yrs now, and we have always included my husbands parents to all special occassions. Is it approriate for her to be taken off the guest list?
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My fiance and I have been dating and living together for coming up on 5 years. Nothing about our relationship seems to follow anything even resembling tradition including the order of events surrounding our wedding.
For reasons realating to his daughter and custody and visitation limits and such combined with our desire to get married on a specific date and not a convienant weekend, we are having our reception 3 days BEFORE the wedding so that his daughter can attend. (her mother won't let her come to the wedding since it's not taking place on dad's weekend)
Anyway, we're having the reception, then 2 days later the rehersal and rehersal dinner and then the wedding, afterwhich we as a couple have chosen to go out to eat for dinner at a restraunt we both enjoy. We would like to invite our family and friends to join us for dinner, drinks what have you, but after paying for the reception, and the rehersal dinner and everything else on our own, our budget is empty.
We would like to put the after ceremony dinner on our invitation so that the guests know about it but we're unsure how to tastefully say that we're not paying for it. Help.
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My and my fiance will be getting married on July 2. We are both students and only want to pay around 10,000 for our wedding. We want a very nice wedding but unfortunately we are on a budget. We live in Orange county, CA and all the hotels and banquets are super expensive. Any advice??
HELP
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Who is responsible for paying for the honeymoon -- the groom or his parents?
Also, are there any "rules" about who picks the honeymoor location, accommodations and length of stay?
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My son is getting married March 1st I had offered to do the rehearsal dinner. Now I found out the bride has invited extended family and out of town guests. If I had the money I wouldn't mind but I had wanted to give them some money and pay for the dinner. Mostly I am uncomfortable with not being asked they are young and the brides mother does not let me know plans. What is the appropriate response from me. Thanks
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I would like to know who is suppose to pay for what? What is the protocol to pay for the grooms parents?
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My daughter plans to marry in June 2006. I have been married to my second husband for 5 1/2 years and he has two daughters yet to marry. Last year he lost his job, but has another one but his salary was cut about 1/3 of what it was. I don't make a lot of money either at my job.
My daughter asked me if we could contribute $5,000.00 towards her wedding because she feels the total costs will be around $10,000. I talked to my husband and he said he could only contribute about $1,000 and I told my daughter that I would contribute what I could. He doesn't plan to give his daughters any more than than either.
She is a college graduate and has been working full-time and makes a good living and also has a nice nest-egg. Her fiance makes a good living also and they could have a very nice wedding if they share the costs.
My problem is just getting over the guilt I feel about not being able to contribute what she asked. But, I agree with my husband, that if they make more money together than we do, that they should be able to handle most of the expenses.
My daughter handles her money well, but has a tough time letting go of any of it. But she seems to understand my situation.
Do you think the $10,000 cost is normal? They are having an outdoor wedding, so most of the costs are in the reception.
Any advice you have would be appreciated.
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What is the proper etiquette for tipping people such as the priest, photographer, dj, etc. Who do you tip and how much?? My fiance and I are disagreeing on this. He figures we are already paying these people enough, why tip?
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Hi Guys,
Who exactly do I tip? My baker said she doesn't get tipped because your paying for what she does for a business and the church says no to minister and organist because its part of the fee. I know the DJ, reception servers, and limo driver does. But how about the florist, photographer?
Thanks,
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My wife and I are divorced and our daughter is getting married. In additional, I had custody of my daughter and she lived with me. My question is in regard to paying for the wedding. My wife and her new husband would like to invite a number of their friends and some of her husband's family. I wanted to know if it is reasonable and accepted that she should pay the cost per person for these people to attend the reception.
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Who pays what in a Catholic wedding ceremony and the reption afterwards?
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When a couple has been living together for a few years prior to becoming engaged and subsequently married, does traditional "who pays what" still apply?
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I'm getting married June 11, I was wondering what is the groom suppose to pay for?
I'm 28 years and my boyfriend is 35 years old.
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I am recently engaged. Next spring, I am planning to move about 14 hours away to go to graduate school. My fiance and I would like to be married before then so we can move together. The problem is that my fiance's brother was married a month ago-- they have a huge family and had a huge (expensive) wedding. I feel badly about expecting his family to endure the expenses of another wedding just a year later; however, I also don't think it's fair that we should have to "suffer" because his brother got engaged first (might I add- his younger brother). Would it be acceptable for us to have a very small wedding (just immediate family) before we move and plan a big wedding maybe a year later? If so, what would be the proper etiquette? Should we send announcements stating what we are planning? Do you think the idea is ridiculous or could it work? Please help!
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My older daughter, age 35, is getting married soon. I am single, divorced years ago, and will have difficulty helping out financially with this wedding. Her father has disowned her. I'd like to help out, but am limited in what I am able to spend. What are my financial responsibilities, given that both the bride and groom are older and both have high paying jobs?
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Second time bride is marrying a first time groom. Brides parents refuse to pay for another ceremony, and the grooms parent's are financially strapped.
Who is responsible for covering the expenses of a reception? There is a big rift because bride and groom want a big reception and say it is the groom's parents responsibility since he's never been married. Who is right?
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a couple has been living together for 3 years. who pays for what?
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What month is usually the slowest for weddings? I am thinking about having my wedding in January (7, 2006). What I would like to know is, if I get married in a slow wedding month, can I talk photographers, Dj's, etc. down on pricing, what about hotels or reception sites? And if it isn't a particularly slow month, can you still talk down prices?
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My favorite motto is "Grace Under Pressure." I have been in Communication Art & Design business for 12 years. I have a natural flair for parties and events. I love tossing them!
A co-worker bride and friend asked me for my help with her wedding. I helped and selected her gown, jewelry, and theme. I referred her to the vendors who fit her budget. She showed me the premailed invitations. I threw her a spectacular office shower with Provence Lavender in garden buckets, handpainted table covers, an exquisite vanilla cake PLUS handmade personalized lavender essential oil candle favors, a lunch buffet, and a co-worker group gift to her bridal salon which covered her extensive weding day services.
She asked me to do her ceremony and reception wedding flowers. I planned, arranged and delivered 580 stems of roses, lilies and hypericum berries in GEORGEOUS 2altar displays, 3 candelabra displays, 1 main reception and reception table arrangements, pew clip displays, kissing ball, aisle runner with petals, exquisite handtied rose and lily bouquets for the bride, toss, and matron... 6 corsages, 3 boutonierres, and a small bridal dressing area arrangement..
Phew! It took 2 weeks and a lot of creativity, time, planning, posies, supplies, money, a few stabbed fingers and all of my nerves.
I made all the purchases to ensure on time delivery. I kept strictly within our pre arranged $500.00 budget and informed her that her add-ons would cost more. When I told her the flowers and supplies cost around $650.00 she blew a gasket and cussed at me. She said some pretty horrible remarks to her groom who chimed in and refused to be civil to me when I went to set up the church.
The bride complained that the shower salon certificatejust barely covered hair highlights and cut, manicure & pedicure, bridal up-do plus tip. She was enraged that she had to payout of pocket for wedding day hairstyle consultation.
She gave me a floral expense check for $468.00 and purchased some galvanized steel containers at IKEA and that is all.
I found out when we were shopping for containers that I WASN'T INVITED to the wedding!
It took all I had to finish the job to the best of my ability because I felt very hurt; but, I DID IT! my own quick digital photos were amazing, and I only asked that she have her photographer snap some floral shots for me; since I wasn't included to attend.
The bride and groom were excellently pleased with all the floral designs. The flowers were beautiful, stylish, decidedly PRO, and fresh. All the guests commented positively and were "blown away" with the results remarking " I have never seen wedding flowers so lovely!" etc...
It's been two weeks since their return from the honeymoon. I received an email "thank you - it was gorgeous."
What should I do? I am left holding the tab of $215 for wedding flowers, $250.00 for a bridal shower. I have no photos beyond those I digitally took myself while being rushed on set-up day.
I fear to add a cloud to her recent great wedding memory but I feel really awful about the way I have been treated.
What do your years of experience in ettiquette and weddings tell you I should do, and what is appropriate for me to do at this point?
Thank You,
Angela
San Francisco
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Hi guys! You have helped me several times already, and I'm back...2 questions this time: Any "tips" on tipping?? Which of our vendors are we required to tip??? We are hiring a photographer, florist, 8 piece band for the reception...do these people get a little something extra? Question #2: My fiancee and I are only having 1 attendant each. He is having his sister stand up for him in our ceremony. How do we refer to her , for instance, in our program? "Best Woman"?? (This is not my favorite choice, but I'll listen to whatever advice you have.) ALSO-(oops, 3 questions)--what does she wear? I'm also having my sister as my maid of honor, should they be dressed alike?? I REALLY appreciate your help!! Thanks!!
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AtPng married June of 2005 and have realized that reception halls book up 12-18 months in advance if not more. Do we need to work on booking everything asap like photos, cake, music etc? Just wondering if all services fill up so fast. Thanks!!
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Hello,
Our son is being married at the home of the bride. All the guests are invited to spend Saturday and Sunday at their estate. (Lodging is up to each individual at the surrounding resorts in the area.) The celebration will include use of the facilities, lake, boats, tennis, etc. all day on Saturday. There will be a barbecue, and disco party on the Saturday night. The wedding will take place on Sunday at noon. The bride's friends, groom's friends, and our guests are all from out of town. The bride's parents' friends and families are mostly from the city they live in.
We, the groom's parents want to participate financially. How do we go about this?
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this was suppose to be a simple wedding! the costs are getting higher and the wedding is quick- three months to prepare and.... pay! we just went thru almost bankruptsy because of two car accidents. we do not have alot of $$$ i thot because costs have increased in recent years the grooms side pays a portion too of catering etc but mother of groom is not and she is well very well off! help! how do i handle this situation. i need help! wedding list is growing too. ok i know i am writing and writing but you guys seem to have the answer to what seems to be a million problems here!!
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My parents divorced when I was a teenager and our family has not had much money since. I have had a distant relationship with my father since the divorce, and we are slowly making our way back towards a "normal" father-daughter relationship. My question is- how do I ask my father if he is going to help with the wedding politely? We could use all of the help we can get- and my mother is helping as much as she can.
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Problem with controlling the number of guests. Our daughter and fiancee chose a late afternoon wedding with a full buffet dinner and dancing afterwards, despite discussions otherwise to lighter fare options. We agreed on budget of 150 guests with a reception "wedding package" related to this. Brides parents list =75 family and close friends who would most likely consider being able to come to the wedding. Bride and groom list=60
PROBLEM is groom parents list = 130 "pared down" from around 200! (grooms family is Latter Day Saints) with a custom of inviting everyone. The pared down list includes family that "have never come to any of the other childrens weddings" My daughter says we should invite 250 as we "know" many won't come. We feel that no more than 200 should be invited with the thought that perhaps 80% may not be able to come. This remains within our budget of 150. Additional guests if they were to come are $42.00/person. We cannot afford an extra $4,000 plus!!! Please help this is causing sudden stress and discourse. Ithought the 150 guest number was always manageable for all! Any solutions on how we should look at this?
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My fiance' and I are getting married in May. This will be my second marriage, her first. I am 45 and make excellent money and she is 30 and makes excellent money. Her Father and Mother are divorced, he Dad has not indicated that he will pay anything for her wedding. It is not we cannot afford the event, it is hurting her feelings that he is unwilling to contribute anything or even discuss it with her. What should we do?
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We're planning a very small wedding( just my fiance and myself). Is it wrong to plan a honeymoon months after the wedding when we can really afford to plan one and to truely enjoy ourselves?
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We're planning a very small wedding( just my fiance and myself). Is it wrong to plan a honeymoon months after the wedding when we can really afford to plan one and to truely enjoy ourselves?
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i was just wondering what the average wedding costs these days.
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I recently got engaged and we plan on having our wedding in June, 2004. My father was laid off in August and has not been able to find employment; therefore, money from my side is tight. My grandparents have offered to help, but I know they can't afford take on everything from my side. My fiance's parents have also offered to help, but their daughter will be getting married the same summer we are, except in August. I know I have a little more than a year to plan, but I'm stressing about money matters. I don't know what a good budget limit is for a wedding and how much different services should cost. We want to book a church and reception hall asap so we can get the date we want, but how much should I consider paying for this? Please help!
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my mom lives in michigan and i live in minnestoa. i want a simple but great wedding but she still thinks i want to spend too much money. i have'nt asked her for any money but she still says i want too much. and i have 3 sisters and none will be in the wedding and she thinks they should be . i am not close with them at all. what do i tell he without offending her. i already told her it is my wedding and i am paying for it so i should be able to do what i want. but that was not good enough. i love my mom but she thinks i should do things the way she wants them. i hope you can give me some good advice.. thanks
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I'm assuming my parent's and my fiance's parents will pay for a portion of our wedding. How do I "tactfully" ask them how much they are willing to spend and what they want to help with?
Thanks!
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Mary,
I am pretty much all set up for my wedding. I'm having it at my home. My question is:
Is there a wedding accessories store that won't charge outrageous prices for things like: guest book, ring pillow, garter????
All I can find on line costs $20-$50 per item. Can you help me? I'm on a budget and the money's almost gone.
Thank you!
Starr
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My fiance and I announced our engagement six months ago (we've been dating for five years). I haven't set a date because I'm trying to determine how much a wedding costs and what kind of a wedding I can afford. My dilemna is this, I don't expect my fiance's parents to contribute financially to the wedding but it would certainly help the planning process, if I knew whether or not they were planning to help pay for the wedding. My fiance's parents are divorced and have occasionally mentioned the wedding at separate times, but neither of them have given any indication whether or not they plan to contribute to the wedding expense. In a an effort to provoke some insight into their intentions, I mentioned to my fiance's parents that I was trying to put together a budget, but they have said nothing. What should I do? I know my fiance won't ask, and I can't plan a wedding without knowing how much to spend.
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My daughter is planning a wedding/reception for about 150 people. She is on a budget and is wondering what resource she can use to give her advice on how to carve up the budget she has.
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Mary,
My fiance and I have just made our engagement official. Neither of our parents have much money, and his parents won't be paying for any part of the wedding. I don't want my parents to feel obligated to pay for anything, but how do I ask them to not pay without offending them. They have been looking forward to their only daughter getting married, but I don't want them to incur huge debts over this. What would be reasonable to ask them to pay for, that would make them feel included yet not cost a lot? Thanks! worried bride.
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I haven't been able to find a list of what the grooms parents pay for vs the brides parents. I know alot of brides/grooms pay for their own wedding but our parents want to pay but we'd like to see the old breakout of who typically pays for what.
Can you help? Thanks!
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I have two sons (twins) that are both getting married this summer. One of the fiance's parents are paying for the entire wedding and we (as groom's parents) are paying for the groom's dinner, which was traditional when we were married in the 70's. The other bride's parents have hinted that we should pay for part of the wedding. Both weddings are out of state for us. One in Texas and one in Ohio. We live in Minnesota. We will be incurring a lot of expenses with flights, hotels, etc. What is the proper response for this. Do parents of brides and grooms tend to split more costs these days, or does tradition still hold?
A confused Mom
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I have been working for the same TC wedding vendor for approx. 10 years and have met many other vendors in the area. I am planning a wedding for the Summer of 2002 and like many people, on a limited budget. I recommend many of the TC vendors to my clients when they ask for help with these services. Is there a tactful way to ask these other vendors and even my own employer for free or discounted services for my wedding?
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My daughter is planning an April wedding out of town.
What is the average price for a photographers package. I am just looking for a ballpark figure for a medium sized package.
Thank you.
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I am getting married in July of 2002, and im wondering if it would be best to have real or silk flowers?
And im on a tight budget, I have 4 kids to take care of so I dont want to have a 10,000 dollars on a wedding,
but I do want it to be beutiful, and special.
Thank You, Cori
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